If you're one of those people who are constantly being told, "You're just so different," embrace it. As you get older, the opinions of others begins to fade along with the desire to be liked by everyone. One would believe this to be the character of a teenager, but the prison and divorce rate show differently. It's uncanny how some of us never grow past that place of wanting acceptance. We want to be accepted by our friends, coworkers, other church members, and we even bend ourselves to be accepted in our relationships. So instead of being who we truly are, we travel through life unfulfilled and unhappy. Isn't it better to just be who you are, even if it's at the risk of losing some fans?
Too often we consider the opinions of others versus what we truly want for ourselves, but in the words of Meryl Streep, "I no longer have patience for certain things."
Have you ever found yourself lying in bed, and then you remember how your significant other has been holding on to their phone like a third hand? Your mind starts to wander and soon after, your fingers follow. We've all been guilty at some point or another of being the "snooper." It's in our nature and it's totally fine...IF YOU DON'T GET CAUGHT!!! Unlike most of you, I'm pretty horrible at it. I can recall rummaging through the phone of a guy I once dated on several different occasions and each time that I did it, I would always bring up the information weeks later in the form of a question. This usually resulted in a fifteen minute interrogation that ended with, "How do you know this, did you go through my phone or something?" Of course, my answer was always, "No". Guys have a way of making you feel worse about invading their privacy than the actual condemning evidence that's being brought against them. So I guess the question is, is it really all that bad to go through your significant other's phone?
I guess what it all boils down to is trust. You can love someone, trust someone, and still lie to them by way of omission. By that, I mean, if you're still conversing with an ex, you're more than likely not going to reveal that to the person that you're currently in a relationship with. So without you even realizing, your behavior begins to change. Where you would at one time, leave your phone around visibly, you now keep it in your pocket. Subtle, but believe me, if it isn't your norm, your partner will know. After some time of noticing these little changes in behavior curiosity begins to spark. What happens next is usually what happened to me. While my guy was sleeping, I snuck and got his phone and walked speedily from the room hoping not to awaken him with the bright screen light. Unfortunately for me, that night he was being a light sleeper. When I heard his footsteps I quickly threw the phone to floor and ran over to the patio window and pretended like I couldn't access it. He walked up behind me and simply asked, "Where is my phone?" I shrugged my shoulders and told him that it was on the floor and that I couldn't get into it, although I'd discovered his passcode previously. The rest of the evening was so uncomfortable and I could barely sleep because I was sooooo embarrassed. Sigh. You see what having a lack of trust can do to a person?
Many will argue that if you trust someone then there's no need to go through the other persons phone and others will argue that if you have nothing to hide, then you shouldn't have a problem with it. Let's be honest, anyone would be agitated if they found you rummaging through their phone. I mean, like don't you have one? So, if you're doing it, there has to be something that you're looking for.
If you're with someone and you start to get a weird vibe, confront them first. You never know how they'll respond. You may just get the truth. However, depending on how much you have invested, if you still feel as though you're being lied to, then snoop away. Just DON'T GET CAUGHT!!! Only kidding.
Time spent alone can be time well spent if used wisely. It's human nature to evolve but we don't always notice the changes within us because our focus is being pulled in so many different directions. I've heard frequently that by the age fourty, most women know exactly who they are, what they want, and how to get it. I wonder if that can be attributed to them taking time to get to know themselves or because of mere trial and error. Is it possible to be forty at thirty?
If you're at a place in your life where you're currently single or even if you're in relationship, figure some time in your schedule to get to know the person that you're evolving into, whether good or bad.
We all deal with our problems differently. Some people may ignore them while others face them head on until the issue has been resolved. However you choose to address the situation within your life, make sure that when you're contemplating your choice of action, that it benefits you in the long run. I can't tell you how many times that I've heard about, and even experienced myself, the regret of wishing that a situation would've been handled differently. It's easy to respond off of pure emotions. But it takes experience, growth, and discipline to render a productive response.
We LOVE being in a relationship, but oh how we HATE being miserable while in one. Sometimes we're under the impression that if we quickly "boo up" and get an established title, that everything that is wrong within our love life, will suddenly be made right. What a huge misconception that is! Does our desire for companionship often cause us to rush into relationships that have absolutely no potential, whatsoever, into developing into love?
The ideal love story is often filled with, "From the very first time that I laid eyes on her/him, I knew that they were the one." Oh joy, oh blah. Majority of the time, the person who we actually end up spending the rest of our lives with, is the one of that exact opposite nature. It's usually ends up being, Mr. Wrong for all of the right reasons and Miss Maybe. So what happens in between hooking up wtih Mr. Wrong and Mrs. Maybe is astronomically far from a fairy tale. We habitually spend years making accomadations for people who don't really want us, lying to people who will never truly accept us, and burrying the hurt in hopes that things will someday get better. But we all know too well, that the remedy for those sort of relationships is no relationship at all.
So while you're sitting comfortably, uncomfortable with your "fictional ideal", your great maybe, maybe on their way to genuinely loving someone else.
We all love Meg, don't we? We appreciate her roles in romantic films that leave us all with daring optimism. I mean, what are the chances of your phone ringing and on the other line, a kid whose dad is the perfect guy who's looking for the perfect girl? What a perfect, but unlikely situation. The movie depicts a woman, Meg Ryan, who's looking for what most women are looking for, hopeless romance. And like most women, her love doesn't come without its own set of faith and trials. Her prince charming is waiting for her in a drawn out plot in an entirely different state. As I think about it, I wonder if we lessen our chances of finding "the one" because of our need for instant gratification. If the other person stays an hour and half away, that's a deal breaker! If they work long hours, forget it! I wonder if the sacrifice of not seeing someone everyday now, worth the possibility of seeing them every day for rest of your life?
We've all met people who we could potentially see ourselves with but under different circumstances. Whether it's geological (live too far away), physiological (attractiveness), or psychological (emotional) we often choose to run at the first sign of, less than easy. Being a city girl, I'm used to a fast paced society where everything and everyone is on some form of schedule. Anything that alters time precision is frowned upon, so I can't help but think that we've somehow adapted to this frame of thinking within our dating life. We kind of go into now with a, "I'm not wasting any time attitude." We abhor the idea of experiencing any kind of indifference that would slow our magical train to love. But I wonder what it would be like to take a chance on interest alone; pure feelings and not so much on the things that appear to be a hindrance.
Is love worth the LACK OF EFFORT???