We all experience times in our lives where we just feel like giving up, but instead of throwing in the towel, we give it that one last push that helps us make over. Each morning I awake to a picture of my mother who passed away when I was 17 years old. Before her passing, I'd made up in my mind that I would attend a community college and remain at home. Those plans or should I say the lack thereof shattered on the day that I'd lost her in physical form. I use these words to describe her departure because I still hold memories that keep her present. I had no idea what I was going to do about school and I definitely knew nothing about processing grief and that was displayed in my decision to attend the school furthest away from home. It took a 12 hour drive to Arkansas and many nights of crying to get past the death of the only one who I'd known to provide me with unconditional love.
It wouldn't be until years later that I would also lose my father.
Losing them taught me something about grief and how after time, things do get better. I remember the special times that we shared and all the wonderful lessons that they taught me. I take those things with me daily and often share those stories with friends and those who are just curious about my upbringing.
Now I sit, looking back at my 17 year old self to see just how quickly times passes. I was born with two parents and now I have none but I'm okay with this because I have memory.